YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WHY HUSBANDS DON’T HAVE ORGASM: MR. MYTH – THE FIRM-RULE-OF-SEX MYTH
I used to be so stiff, like a stick. Now I’m sort of stiff and sort of limp, too. I’m not hard like I used to be.
HUSBAND
If there is one Mr. Myth that has caused more trouble for men and women than any other, it may be the myth that an immediate, long-lasting erection is the key to sexual fulfillment. Men have lied about their erections, worried about them, exaggerated about them, made jokes about them, mocked other men about them, celebrated and magnified them in all forms of art, and given them all types of names.
The medical establishment has accepted this orientation. New implants are now available. There is now an injection that causes temporary erection. Firm penises are becoming a major industry. Urologists who once ignored or dismissed the sexual concerns of their male patients now find it financially wise to keep up to date on keeping men up.
The penis is more sensitive when it is flaccid. Erections were designed in our evolution to allow for quick and easy insertion of the penis for conception, not for pleasure. The blood that engorges the penis to firm it also renders it somewhat less generally sensitive except in certain specific areas. Erections are actually only neurological reflexes that have little to do with complete sexual fulfillment. They have little to do with fertility, with psychasm, or even with all types of orgasm. Our attitudes about erection have become more rigid than the organ itself can ever be.
Erections do not signal arousal or interest and can be present when there is no sexual interest at all. Erections are reflexes, not only to our thoughts and feelings, but also to aggression and even bladder pressure
Men who fail to have “erections” are sometimes called “impotent.” A diabetic man came to me, stating, “I have absolutely no erection. Well, maybe just a little, but nothing to write home about. My doctor wants me to have special tubes put in or maybe a harness-type thing to hold it up.” Following several weeks of counseling with his wife present (the wife had never been consulted by the physician), he stated, “Now I don’t know why I was so fixated on that. I’m having more fun than ever.” The wife added, “Me, too. And you know what? You are more erect now.”
“Really?” questioned the husband. “I never really noticed.”
Physicians have believed for years that diabetes, blood pressure medications, and other situations can “destroy sexual response.” This is not true. Many things affect circulation to the penis, but firmness is only one and a relatively insignificant dimension of sexual interaction.
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